Hatchet Job: Sept. 25- 29, 2017

Editor’s Note: That’s right, it’s back from yet again another retreat! Hatchet Job is a troubled little segment with lots of issues and who is a bit of a high maintenance attention whore. But don’t worry, HJ find its identity and has a bright future ahead of it but till then we will…type type, type  my darling!

Honorable Mention:

After Dusk Brings The Heat With Lyric Video

After Dusk will not only make your head turn with that opening riff for “Pyroclastic Flow (Honeydoom)” but it will make you feel a strange kind of groovy warmth. The visuals from these Greek  metallers will certainly open up your mind and your wallet because you’re gonna wanna get their latest album  The Character of Physical Law which is available now! Get your copy here and check out lyric video below and don’t tell me that psychedelic keyboard won’t make your knees weak!

Sept. 25

Be A Misfit at Sin City

Missed your chance to snag tickets to the big Misfits reunion show? You’re in luck! Due to the high demand, another show was added on Dec. 28 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. The original Misfits will help fans pre-game for 2018 with Alkaline Trio and Fear, giving Misfits fans to catch them.

According to the poster, the LA Forum show sold out in one minute, and it might be possible that Glenn Danzig’s cats snagged MOST of the tickets, now don’t miss your chance and get yours here and tickets go on sale on Friday Sept. 29 at 10 AM… so like right now! GO GO GO!! GET THEM HERE!!!!!!

Sept. 26

Nuclear Blast Snags My Unkle’s Band

I guess my Unkle Al’s band Ministry is going somewhere after all. Jk! I always believed in my kooky Unkle Al and so did Nuclear Blast Records! According to Ministry’s Facebook page, the legendary industrial band is determined to create a “New World Order” and inked a worldwide deal with the famous label.

According to Unkle Al Jourgensen their highly anticipated album AmeriKKKant will “provide FEMA type relief for the devastation ‘Hurricane Cheeto’ has brought upon us.”

Oh Unkle Al, someone had to and while you wait for 2018 to roll by with this new album check out what we thought about Minisry’s big Comic Con show this summer here! Missed the Comic Con show? Luckily they’re hitting the road this October with Death Grips, check out the tour dates here. Don’t forget a lot of sweet bundle deals with your pre order here!

Unkle Al Jourgensen, bassist Jason Christopher and guitarist Cesar Soto waiting for us to succumb after “Just One Fix.”

Sept. 27

The ‘Kong Vinter’ Is Coming

Taake may not have been able to pillage North America this year but the black metallers have kept busy with touring other places and working on their 7^th studio album. What? You haven’t heard about their upcoming album this year? You came to the right place! Taake announced that the wait will be over on Nov.24 where their latest album Kong Vinter (King Winter) will be release via Dark Essence Records.

According to the statement, Hoest has been crafting this baby for three years and plays all the instruments in this album himself. Like you needed anymore cool points, Hoest! The album promises to retain the classic black metal sound Taake is known for but will be “unpredictable as it winds its way sinuously through a soundscape that only a mother could love.”

Our nipps are hard and we can’t wait to hear this album. Pre-order your copy here via their bandcamp and while you wait check out what we thought about Taake’s first San Diego appearance last year in this link!

Sept. 28

Noctem Release Gruesome Video For Single

If you were still hungry for more Noctem, then you’re in luck! Just a year after they released their album Haeresis, these Spanish extreme black metallers are back. Noctem is here to feed you more of their extreme brand of metal and to slap you silly with their video for “A Cruce Salus.”

The video showcases the quintet’s showmanship and will make you envy the concert goers in the video. The music video was filmed in three different rock metal festivals in Spain this past summer…why can’t we have nice things like these?! Anyway, nuff about my bitching and moaning and if you’re diggin Noctem as much as we are, you can get their albums and purchase single in their bandcamp.

Sept. 29

SINSAENUM Have Us Taste ‘Ashes’

The super group with members of Mayhem, Dragonforce, and Joey Jordison (just to name a few members in this sextet) gave us another whiff of what’s to come in their Nov.10 EP  Ashes via earMUSIC. The music video is for the title track and needless to say, it will have you at the edge of your seat!

Yours truly is a sucker for the black and white, artsy videography and after you watch this you’ll be too. And there is a high probability this killer song will peak your interest of the rest of the goods coming our way. If you like what you hear, don’t forget to snag you copy of their 2016 debut album Echoes of the Tortured  and pre-order Ashes here and check out the video below!

 

The Trials August 18, 2017

Can KMFDM Get A ‘Hell Yeah’?

Society be killin’ Punk and industrial, man! But the sheep are wrong! KMFDM have risen and will convince you otherwise one beat at a time with their 20th studio album Hell Yeah which was released via earMusic Records. Not to be confused with their EP Yeah! Which came out a few months ago, which you should totally see what Klown thought about it right hurrr.

The title track takes the first bow, revealing itself like a divine and dancy answer to your troubles and has quite the empowering lyrical content helmed by frontman Sascha Konietzko. Much like the title track, “Fake News” and “Rip The System V.2.0” also have a sharp lyrical tongue. KMFDM unleash their warning called “Total State Machine” which starts with an intensity before suddenly decreasing its tempo allowing Konietzko’s voice to morph in to a dire message before picking up speed again.

Lucia Cifarelli’s sultry vocals encourage us to let our “Freak Flag” fly…really? You mean it Lucia? She gets us man and you know what, we will be dishing out our best flag choreography sequence to go along with this track. Ms.Cifarelli also lets us feel her pain and serenades our love sick desperation with “Murder My Heart” which includes a brief Italian verse in the very beginning. The frontwoman continues to help us pick up the pieces with the pleading “Only Lovers.” Cifarelli shows off her shouting vocals and interchanging prowess in the anguished “Rx 4 The Damned.”

You thought the early 2000’s buried KMFDM? Well you are sorely mistaken. This iconic industrial band has been doing great and are showing no signs of slowing down. I can already hear you singing the chorus of “Glam, Glitz, Guts & Gore” and you know what, check it out for yourselves and get it here. Like what you heard? Then get your tickets for their upcoming North American tour starting Oct. 1 and for our San Diego peeps catch them at the House of Blues on Oct.20!

5 out 6, HELL YEAH!

Thy Art Is Murder Brings More Death To ‘Desolation’ 

These Aussies are back with an album that will help them with their promise of making Deathcore Great Again. So as part of their campaign, they delivered their latest album Dear Desolation via Nuclear Blast and are determined to stay true to their cause. The quintet start off strongly with a string of brootal tracks such as “Slave Beyond Death,” their current hit “Puppet Master” and the super real title track reminding you that there are “no happy endings.” Ain’t that the truth *sips on frozen Blackout Lemonade* Mmmm, never mind guys you’re wrong.

The elusive “Death Dealer” lures you in to this deadly trap with a great, grim but simple short instrumental intro which casts a macabre anticipation till CJ McMahon lay sit on you. McMahon and company continue their campaign of metal desolation with “Fire In The Sky.” Definitely one of the J-Oh’ster’s favorite tracks of this album. This album takes its final bow with the appropriately titled “The Final Curtain” and you know what, you won’t even believe this wild ride is over when the curtain falls on you.

Truth be told, the J-OHster had actually forgotten that Thy Art Is Murder are still under the deathcore banner. Their merciless approach in this album felt more like they had jumped in to the reaper’s hot rod and joined the death metal genre. Don’t get me wrong, deathcore influences are still very much present, but only lightly and quite frankly, the predominant death metal sound is a sound yours truly can get used to. Get your Dear here and see if I’m trippin balls or nah!

6 out 6, Will inflict ‘Desolation’ in your ears

Eluveitie Deliver Their Follow up!

The wait is over, my warriors! Eight years later, Eluveitie has finally delivered the follow up to Evocation I and are ready to take us on this new melodic adventure with Evocation II: Pantheon via Nuclear Blast Records. Fabienne Erni greets us with her beautiful vocals midway of the intro ambient track in a place magical which for once is not your kitchen. Erni then takes over and whisks away in her dragon with their latest single “Epona,” ‘cause who said there’s only one mother of dragons?!

Erni doesn’t enchant you with one track though, there 18 tracks in this album and she has plenty of enchantment up her sleeves. The frontwoman fascinates you with every song her voice graces and with every chant she belts out like in “Esvs”

Though this is primarily an album where Erni takes the reins in this album, frontman Chrigel Glanzmann makes a brief vocal appearance in the battle worthy “Catvrix” and “Tarvos II (Sequel)” which is a great song to play when you’re pumping up your buddies for the next beer pong challenge.

Once you crack open and dissect the pages of Evocation II: Pantheon, it will surely carry to another world where the trees are green, the air is clean and filled with fog especially when the beautiful instrumental pieces make their way to your ears. This album will fill you more with wonder and adventure and felt a little less rougher around the edges than its predecessor, not that Evocation I was bad. Erni weaves softer melodies that will wrap itself around your heart, assuming you have one, while the instrumental pieces sandwiched in between will take you on a horse ride in to the forest or set you up with battle. Grab your knapsack and begin your journey in this second chapter here.

5 out 6, What is this sorcery?!

The Necromancers Will Make You Serve

The Necromancers are here to communicate with the living with their debut album Servants of the Salem Girl via Ripple Music Records. The Necromancers begin with “Salem Girl Part I” which has a faint touch of stoner rock influences and works very damn well. Lead guitarist Robin Genais lures you in with his bridges and will shoot you back to the witch trials with that killer breakdown, sealing the deal and making you want to continue this doomy story.

Now that you dove in, the French quartet slows things down to explain the story with the grim “Lucifer’s Kin” and work their magic “Grand Orbiter” which will immediately glamour you with that great intro from the ensemble before slowing down, and wait till you get to the riffs! In the catchy “Necromancers,” vocalist/guitarist Tom Cornière inserts a little extra intensity while thickening his vocals which becomes a beacon in this doomy tale. Wanna hear Cornière interchange his vocals? Listen to “Salem Girl Part II.”

Servants of the Salem Girl dazzles and will entice you to serve in the growing legion of The Necromancers. Each track delivers a great gloomy tale of servitude that is made more dramatic with the amazing instrumental work and vocals that will make you succumb to this band. Serve the Salem girl and get your copy here.

6 out 6, We shall serve!

*The Klown has cracked open a new one*

Death Yell Debut Their Long Awaited Album

For those who love blackened death metal from South America rejoice because the Chilean death metal juggernaut known as Death Yell has now delivered their first LP titled Descent into Hell through Hells Headbangers Records. The quintet formerly known as Pestilence has awarded the patience of their loyal fanbase with this brutal gem.

The album begins strongly with “Soulless” with a medley of Andres “Pulga” Herrera, and Andres “Pollo” Lozano’s guitar riffs combined with the thundering drumming, and cymbal clashing of Jano Moyano  mixed with Felipe “Guatiu” Allende’s powerful bass riffs. Vocalist Sergio “Galleta” Arenas then adds his strong harsh vocals before he moves on to the following tracks. This song in particular also features a guitar solo from Pollo which was awesomely similar to that of Cannibal Corpse’s Pat O’Brien.

The band delivers some black metal bliss, in terms of material and influence, with “Descent into Hell,” “Cries of Nazarene” and “Betrayed Chastity” just to name a few. For the latter song, Pollo would once again revisit the solo synonymous to that of Cannibal Corpse and would also feature Jano’s thundering double kicks and cymbals. “Thy Will Be Done” reminded the Klown of a fast version of Bay Area metal group Ghoul mixed with some of Slayer’s Kerry King’s killer riffs and solos.

“Bluffer” and “Will Never Enjoy” will give you some full blown death metal and leave you on an adrenaline high. Although this album was released on the 15^th it made a great addition to this week’s review and should be put on notice. Lastly, you can check this bitchin’ debut through their bandcamp to get a good listen of it.

6 out of 6, This Album is Muy Caliente!

The Trials of July 28, 2017

Prong Gives Us ‘Zero Days’  

Prong returns with their 12^th studio album Zero Days via SPV/Steamhammer records and this album is here to make an impression. Now the J-Oh’ster (Klown, c’mon tell me if I’m doing this right!) must admit the first track “However It may End” made the J-Oh think she played a new Slipknot track minus the beep-beep-scratch sounds…Have those green Cali fumes FINALLY messed with yours truly?! Don’t know. The title track will make you grab your shit and run and start your own rebellion. Great track! Which is complimented by “Divide And Conquer,” where Tommy Victor shows off his nice set of pipes in the chorus and also keeps shining in the angsty ballad “Blood Out Of Stone.” *replays* They get it! They get me!

Now Prong is not one to shy away from in-your-face tracks or songs about how they are being wronged! NO!! They throw “Self Righteous Indignation” right at you, which prowls with a calculating pace rather than charge right at you. RAWR! Want something more serious with a foreboding sense of doom? “Wasting Of The Dawn” and “The Whispers.” Victor’s vocals AND riffs continue to shine along with the Art Cruz’s definitive drum pounding and the base foundation from Mike Longworth. It should be a crime that the J-Oh’ster FINALLY mentioned Victor’s riffs ‘cause he’s not just a pretty voice!

This album will more than suffice the Prong lover and will cause a nice head bopping for the casual metalhead. Though yours truly is not an avid Prong follower, the J-Oh’ster’s gotta admit that this was a very nice personal buffer between listening to tar black metal, decaying death metal, grimy industrial tunes, and the magical wonders of Loreena McKennitt and Bjork. That’s right kids, there’s no in between with the J-Oh’ster and she can go on and on! So with that being said, Zero Days provides that pleasant middle ground for anyone. Be sure to snag a copy of this baby before you head in to your bunker here and bask it in.

5 Out 6, The Final Countdown Was Good!

Alice Cooper Conjures Up The ‘Paranormal’  

The father of shock rock is back to show us a whole new type of nightmare with Paranormal via earMusic Records. Alice Cooper kicks off with the title track which has a nice and acoustic riff before the brief and epic electric riffs strike you down. The title track has an appropriate feel as the intro track because it has a haunting and welcoming tone and Alice Cooper’s melodic vocals will stay with you.

The sextet switches gears with “Dead Files” and “Fallen In Love” which had some faint bluesy overtones which was awesome. Now there’s a very special guest in “Fireball,” and you are right it is the organ! Why enjoy this so much? Because it made this track so much stronger. Why is the J-Oh’ster too excited over the organ? Because shut up that’s why.  which for some reason amuzed me and we hear a guest appearance from the organ in “Fireball” which makes this baby sizzle. The boppy and rebel with a cause “Genuine American Girl” is the track that will steal your heart and break it before taking off to Broadway.

Alice Cooper revisits some of his older style in vocals and sound in “Paranoiac Personality,” “Private Public Breakdown.” Cooper adds a little bit of bluesy noir to his rock n’ roll in “The Sound Of A,” which the J-Oh’ster must admit is her favorite song of this album. This legend flirts with different musical influences without straying away from his classic and signature sound. Paranormal will make a believer out of you and is sure to appeal to the youngins. Contact and receive your copy with open arms here.

6 Out of 6, We believe!

‘Ultu Ulla’ Is A Different Kind Of Species

We’re going to Saturn, dude. To the Rings Of Saturn to be exact!  And you bet we’ll be blasting their latest Ultu Ulla which made its way out in this universe via Nuclear Blast Records. Those beginning riffs from guitarists Lucas Mann and Miles Dimitri Baker in their first track “Servant of this Sentience” heighten the anticipation of what’s to come in this album and deliver a track that flows nicely.

“Parallel Shift,” however, shakes things up with their tempo and even throws in some good ol’ keyboards adding that a faint sense of mystique considering we’re breaking supersonic barriers in this journey! Now these guys don’t just stick to the brutal side of things and add some spice to this album. Nope, these guitarists add some pizzazz to this album by showcasing their strumming chops and give us a great acoustic intermission in “Unhallowed” and the pleasant and epic instrumental “The Macrocosm” where they mix some technical and brutal influences with acoustic elements, and lest we forget the predominantly acoustic snippet in “Inadequate.”

Rings of Saturn don’t just remain in the deathcore side of the spectrum and dabble in a lot of technical death metal influences in Ultu Ulla. This album is a different species that is in the middle of evolving from its previous form.  The Bay Area quartet are ready to hunt and convert new fans with the new influences they are playing with. Book your ticket to Ultu Ulla here and prepare to get your mind blown.

6 Out 6, I Have A Feeling This Isn’t Just Deathcore Anymore

*Look what I found at the bottom of my Comic Con bag! That lil sneak!*

Mosh to ‘The Overlord Messiah’

Nearly three decades later, David DerMinasian, ex-member of 1988’s AVATAR (no not James Cameron’s blue man group or the eccentric Swedes), not only returned to the metal scene with a new band called Retched (pronounced “Retch” ‘cause they’re cool like that) BUT they also released The Overlord Messiah via Alone Records on July 21. Something worth noting about this EP is that it was recorded as AVATAR in ’88 before they split, and the former member had to sit on this record until last year when he released it through Bandcamp. Do we need more reasons to love Bandcamp!?  The Greek record label then swooped in and released it to the masses last week.

Flash forward to 2017, where the two piece SoCal thrash band not only delivered a big surprise to their faithful legion but also have the potential to wow thrashers and casual listeners alike. “Black Leather And Me” is the perfect 80’s montage music for a metalhead and oozes that OG coolness. “Insane” and “Lost In The Night” will make you wild with their intro riffs and don’t even get me started about that breakdown!

The title track “The Overlord Messiah” lives up to its name and is a divine ruler no one would dare challenge! Yours truly can continue breaking down all six tracks of this EP but yours truly has said more than enough. It would have been a sacrilege of metal proportions had this EP not made it in to our ears. The multi talented DerMinasian’s voice is a whole new level of heavy metal magic, not that the J’Oh-ster is downplaying his riffs.

With Retched due to release a full length album in Nov. 2018, we can’t wait to see what this duo will produce in their new chapter. Become a believer and get it in their bandcamp OR get the sweet bundle pack at Alone Records’ site.

6 Out 6, King of the mosh pit

The Trials of June 23

Dying Fetus Release the Right One to Listen to

It has been a while since the Klown heard anything from the death metal trio known as Dying Fetus. In fact, it has been five full years since Reign Supreme was released. Nevertheless, Fetus fans may now breathe again because their eighth album Wrong One to Fuck With has been finally released through Relapse Records. The trio begins strongly with “Fixated on Devastation” which features Trey Williams’ powerful double kick drumming, John Gallagher’s fierce growling vocals and powerful riffs without discounting Sean Beasley’s backing vocals and heavy bass strum.

“Panic Amongst the Herd” and “Reveling in the Abyss” slow it down a bit. The difference between both is that “Panic…” featured Beasley’s heavy bass resonating while “Reveling…” featured more of Williams’ drumming. “Die with Integrity” features a retouched version of Dying Fetus but a bit more cleaner as far as sound quality is concerned. “Weaken the Structure” was a pretty awesome and brutal track that featured everyone equally from Williams’ double bass pedaling to Beasley’s heavy bass to Gallagher’s awesome solo and voice going from growling to guttural. The album also includes a bonus track titled “Induce Terror” which sounded like their technical death metal 2007 classic War of Attrition. This album was pretty refreshing to hear and it’s sure to please the Fetus faithful. You can check out and acquire their newest album in the label’s bandcamp.

5 out of 6, This Was the Right One to Fuck With

KMFDM Tease with Their Latest Release

You didn’t think the Klown would ever do some industrial, did you? Joke’s on you! Anyway, the Industrial powerhouse known as KMFDM has released a tormenting EP titled Yeah! through earMusic Records. The reason the Klown says that it’s tormenting is because it’s in anticipation to their next release Hell Yeah due to come out in mid-August. Sascha Konietzko’s famous project treats us to the first hit of the yet-to-be-released LP by beginning with the eponymous title “Hell Yeah” not just in its original incarnation but also as a remixed by Lord of the Lost, and the edited version.

The Klown liked the song but liked the remix a bit more because, although autotune was applied, the song had more range in sound such as the combination of trance with some wide range of electric drum sounds, synthesizers and a sweet guitar solo from Jules Hodgsons. The album also treats us to a radio friendly version of “Freak Flag” which will be featured in the upcoming LP which the Klown can describe as more of an easy listening type of song that can be danced to and features vox/keyboardist Lucia Cifarelli as backing vocals to Konietzko’s autotuned vocals.

This EP also features the a new version of the 2002 hit, which is now titled, “Attak 2017” and turned it into a fast paced trance remix featuring Cifarelli on the helm with heavy use of synthesizers as a foundation and electric drums for pacing. This tease is well worth the listen especially if you’re anticipating Hell Yeah. The Klown highly recommends this album to those who are big on electronic dance music and industrial. Lastly, if you can’t wait or fancy yourself a true fan attempting to collect all the albums, you can get yer copy here. Catch them on tour too and will be here in San Diego at the House of Blues on Oct. 20 and you can get your tickets right here.

6 out of 6 Cyber Goths Rejoice!

 

Municipal Waste  Rewards the Fans with Album

The Klown believes that he invoked Municipal Waste when he reviewed Tony Foresta and Phil “Landphil” Hall’s other brainchild, Iron Reagan. Ask and you shall receive because the kings of the Richmond punk scene have returned and wasted no time to introduce their new album Slime and Punishment through Nuclear Blast Records.

Just like it was to expected the Muni Waste steamrolls to the album with nothing but pure adrenaline of the punk variety starting with “Breathe Grease.” “Enjoy the Night” jumpstarts itself with the radical and groovy bass sounds of Landphil and power through with Ryan Waste and Nick “Nikropolis” Poulo’s fast and intense guitar riffs. Waste shows off his guitar solo in “Dingy Situations” which feature Forest’s powerful punk vocals and Dave Witte fast and powerful drumming.

“Poison the Preacher” features Foresta’s vocals go from his usual high screaming vocals to mild  growling. “Bourbon Discipline” and “Slime and Punishment” are just a few tracks that give you some customary Muni Waste sounds aside from their famous chorus. “Amateur Sketch” starts out with a muffled guitar solo and immediately unleashes the adrenaline thereafter. The album finishes with “Think Fast” which starts off slow and immediately picks up the pace after the breakdown and features the myriad of bass, drums, briefs solos accompanying Foresta’s speedy vocals. This was a good album and featured a little bit of everything from this prolific band. You can attain a copy here and check it out.

5 out of 6, Not a Waste of Time!

 

Goatwhore Comeback with a ‘Vengeance’!

The NOLA quartet has graced the Ugh Metal twice before. Right now, though, the Klown is about indulging you with their seventh album Vengeful Ascension which was released through Metal Blade Records. Goatwhore put a huge emphasis on vengeance. The group commences their acts of Vengeance with the heavy and aggressive songs titled “Forsaken” and “Vengeful Ascension” which features some strong bass and guitar riffs courtesy of James Harvey and Sammy Duet which compliment vox L.Ben Falgoust II’s harsher vocals.

If you are hankering for some traditional Goatwhore sounds then the band treats you to “Under the Flesh, Into the Soul” and “Chaos Arcane” which are prime examples of what the Klown speaks of. The band takes a page from their past selves and revisit some of the black metal influences with “Where the Sun is Silent” which the Klown enjoyed very much and can say that although a little slow it builds up but remains consistent. The drummer Zack Simmons shines brightly with “Abandon Indoctrination” and “Mankind Will Have No Mercy” with thundering double kicks and fast drumming which are then accompanied by an awesome solo provided by Duet. The group end their latest reprisal with the fast paced “Those Who Denied God’s Will” which not only featured some fast paced drumming,  guitar solos and some intense bass. This album was a great comeback from these Voodoo kings from the bayous. Lastly you can get a hold of this album at the band’s bandcamp. Also catch them in town too at the Brick By Brick on Sept. 20 with Venom Inc. and Toxic Holocaust so get your tickets here.

6 out of 6 Their Revenge was Sweet

Jenny Oh is About to Drop Her Two Cents… There Goes Her Rent Money!

Jyrki 69 Releases His Gothtastic Side

Jyrki 69, the front man of The 69 Eyes, has ditched the sleazy black lights and has returned to the intimacy of his gothic estate for his solo project. Cleopatra Records has opened the crypt and set the brooding Helsinki Vampire free to seduce the black hearts and restore the goth back into “goth n’ roll.”  The album celebrates this new beginning with “Ad Infinitum,” a seven and half minute song that starts slow with a faint and ominous chorus which ultimately builds up to a new wave type of song with Jyrki 69’s baritone vocals making an appearance towards the end.

The piano chords in the forlorn “Versailles” may remind The 69 Eyes fans about their Paris Kills and Blessed Be days. “Spanish Steps” features some synths which shine in the moonlight of nostalgia (… I’m not crying, you’re crying!) and every other song . Jyrki 69 changes the mood and scares away the melancholic with his two singles the danceable “Bloodlust” and the horror tribute “Last Halloween.” You think Jyrki 69 is going to keep things light? WRONG! Jyrki 69 then spills out the gloomy “Happy Birthday,” which is GOTH APPROVED! Get your brooding face ready again with “Call Of The Night” and “In Your Dreams.”

By this point it’s a little obvi what yours truly thinks about Helsinki Vampire because I practically spoke about the entire album. The faithful followers of The 69 Eyes who particularly loved their gothic sound and the new wave elements will certainly drink this baby up! For those that liked their sleazy roots may be a little iffy before giving in to Jyrki 69. This Helsinki Vampire is sure to glamour those Tripp pants off especially if you make this album your own by clicking this link.

6 Out of 6, Eat me, drink me baby 😉   

The Hatchet Job: April 24- 28

April 24

Feels A Lot Like 1999

Adding to the nostalgia is KMFDM who not only announced the release of their June 23^rd five song EP Yeah!, but also a new studio album in August. Though the industrial band has left us in the dark regarding their upcoming album, they did surprise fans by announcing a tour! What year is this? Well whatever Doc and Marty McFly say, this is becoming an awesome year for music. KMFDM will hit the road here in North America with fellow industrial band Lord Of The Lost and OHGR. They will be making a stop here in San Diego on Oct.20  at the House of Blues and tickets are available now! Also be sure to keep you OG cool kid status and pre order Yeah! Which will be released via earMusic Records.

 

With OHGR & Lord Of The Lost:

10/01 Chicago, IL – Metro (‘Cold Waves VI Festival‘)
10/02 St. Louis, MO – Delmar Hall
10/03 Indianapolis, IN – The Vogue
10/04 Cleveland, OH – Agora Ballroom
10/05 Falls Church, VA – The State Theatre
10/06 Philadelphia, PA – Underground Arts
10/07 New York, NY – Irving Plaza
10/08 Allston, MA – Brighton Music Hall
10/09 Baltimore, MD
10/11 Atlanta, GA – The Masquerade – Heaven
10/12 New Orleans, LA – House Of Blues
10/13 Austin, TX – Mohawk
10/14 Dallas, TX – Gas Monkey Live!
10/15 Houston, TX – White Oak Music Hall
10/17 Tucson, AZ – The Rialto Theatre
10/18 Tempe, AZ – Marquee Theatre
10/19 Las Vegas, NV – Fremont Country Club
10/20 San Diego, CA – House of Blues
10/21 Los Angeles, CA – TBD
10/22 San Francisco, CA – The Regency Ballroom
10/24 Salt Lake City, UT – Metro Music Hall
10/25 Denver, CO – Summit Music Hall
10/26 Omaha, NE – The Waiting Room
10/27 St. Paul, MN – Amsterdam Bar and Hall
10/28 Milwaukee, WI – The Rave II

April 25

Here Comes ‘Charlie…’

Carach Angren have summoned a new kind of classy but deadly beast with their latest single “Charlie.” The symphonic black metallers weave their net and pull us in to this haunting chapter from their upcoming saga titled Dance And Laugh Amongst The Rotten which will haunt us silly on June 16 via Season of Mist Records. I guess our new friend “Charlie” will have to keep us company till then, be sure not to anger him and take home this new chapter and pre order.

April 26

Songs To Fight Off 8-Bit Villains

Yeah, yeah , yeah, before you go off that this is not metal and blah blah blah, everyone can appreciate a nice video game soundtrack per se. Jimmy Urine may not be making eccentrically danceable music with Mindless Self Indulgence but he is back making eccentrically danceable music of the 8-bit kind. Urine has decided to embark on his own adventure and help you conquer that one stage you can’t get past with his solo album The Secret Cinematic Sounds Of Jimmy Urine which is now streaming on The End Records’ YouTube channel. Urine’s solo album won’t be unlocked for the masses till April 28 via The End Records, but for now indulge on the entire album. Excuse me, I have some ass asses to kick! *Puts on bright helmet and hopes on neon tricycle*     

April 27

‘Amateur Sketch’ Will Fuck You Up!

I guess we’ll allow Municipal Waste to paint us like one their French girls after listening to their latest single “Amateur Sketch.” The crossover thrashers will be making their festival rounds this summer in the Van’s Warped Tour this summer and will finally lather us with their June 23 album Slime And Punishment via Nuclear Blast Records. Get ahead of the game and pre-order this bad boi!

‘Never’ Say Never

You think Decapitated has been lounging and doing other things metal? Well you’re half right! The quartet has been doing other things of the metal variety such as making and releasing this brand new music video for “Never.”  The quartet not only let this baby loose, but they also announced their next album titled Anticult which will pour down all that Kool Aid on us on July 7 through Nuclear Blast Records. Another fun fact about “Never,” is that it’s their first single, so stay tuned for more and pre-order this gospel.

Feeling A Little ‘Blood Sick’

Man, this day been pretty eventful with so many videos to binge watch and albums to squeal to. In fact we are so excited, we feel a little sick with giddiness but luckily, Wednesday 13 gives us a little cure with their latest music video for “Blood Sick.” This video taps in to conquering your fears and having your sweet revenge on soulless arachnids, the type that devour your heart assuming you have one. Anyway this song will have you singing along, just like Wednesday knows how and if you just gotta have this song in your collection, be sure to pre-order Condolences which will comfort our blood sickness on June 2 via Nuclear Blast Records.

April 28

Come Alive With ‘Astralive’

Helsott unite and conquer with their music video for “Astralive,” which is now available on their April 28 EP The Healer via M-Theory Audio Records (OMG! That’s today). Get your battle axes ready and prepare to charge deep in to the woods, but not too far ‘cause we don’t have those fancy Norwegian park rangers that retrieve lost metal bands/people. Die with honor and joy after being part of this epic campaign and did I mention The Healer is out now?! Well go ahead and snag your copy!

 

The Hatchet Job: April 10-15

April 10

Get Ready To Jump In The ‘Arena Of The True Lies’

Tankard charges in to this battle with full force and killer riffs in their latest lyric video for “Arena Of The True Lies.” As a metalhead, I’m digging this song. It’s easy on my decrepit ears after a long day of adulating and if you want to sing about the grievances in the world. As a millennial, however, how dare you Tankard?! Attacking social media!? I’m gonna Snap about this later with my dog filter!

They’re lucky this is an enjoyable song and they have beer that will be featured in their 17^th album titled One Foot In The Grave which will rise out of the Nuclear Blast crypt on June 2. Prepare to be outraged and check them out while I go Snap about this with my dog filter! Did I mention I’m gonna use the dog filter?

April 11

Professional teases known as Tool have announced a show on June 24 in San Bernardino at the Glen Helen Amphitheater. The quartet will mindfuck audiences with their powers of visual and audible deepness with Primus, Melvins, The Crystal Method and a mystery “special guest” which will be announced later… see what I mean about teasing!?

Frontman Maynard James Keenan has been BUSY with his successful side projects such as Puscifer and is currently on the road with A Perfect Circle. Tickets are now on sale for the upcoming Tool show and here’s hoping they will debut a new song from the highly anticipated follow up. Can’t a girl dream?

April 12

Dragonforce Cast The ‘Curse of Darkness’

Power metal extravaganza known as Dragonforce treat us to an easy paced but beautifully wide eyed track with “Curse of Darkness.” Though this track is a little “slower” than their well known songs, it’s a nice breather and allows us to soak in Herman Li and Sam Totman’s somewhat chiller riffs and Marc Hudson’s melancholic but hopeful vocals. “Curse of Darkness” will be featured in their May 19 album Reaching Into Infinity via earMUSIC records and is now available for pre order, but for now grab your satchel and reach for the starts, young padawan!  

April 13

Firewind Serenades The ‘Lady of 1000 Sorrows’

Firewind ignites the power of love and feels with their latest ballad “Lady of 1000 Sorrows” from their latest album Immortals which was released earlier this year. The music video is anything but sorrowful and follows the power metallers through their gigs. The real stars of this video, however, are their passionate fans and the ecstasy they radiate will definitely make that lady of 1000 sorrows turn that frown, upside down! To save you the trouble from replaying this song a few times, tough guy, pick up a copy of Immortals and see what the Klown thought about it.

April 14

God Dethroned Sets ‘The World Ablaze’

The Dutch are coming!…With another music video for the for their May 5th record  The World Ablaze which will rise from the pits of hell via Metal Blade Records and will be the final part of their WWI concept. “The World Ablaze” video shows the band jamming in front of an audience fused with WWI footage and imagery and the track is very complimentary to the concept. Don’t be a square and pre order yours today!

Suffocation Do A 360

Unfortunately for us, not literally, be just like Journey once said, we won’t  stop believing ‘cause we’re always to the jungle because they have fun and games. Powerful stuff. Anyway enough about my philosophies and back to SUFFOCATION! The Long Island death metallers debuted their 360 degree lyric video for “Your Last Breaths,” which will be featured in their June 9 album …Of The Dark Light and will seep through Nuclear Blast Records.

The song itself is not only brootal but it’s 360 DEGREES! YES!!! *furiously looks around the lyric video* Check it out and have first dibs on this baby and pre-order your copy! While you’re at it, check out our slave unpaid intern’s (who is obsessed with me and wants to be me!) debut article on Metal Assault regarding Suffocation.

April 15

Join Megadeth in the Fight!

Unfortunately Dave Mustaine and Lars Ulrich won’t be engaging in to an epic slap fight, but you can defend the Earth in Megadeth’s Space Invaders type game on their site. The soldiers that enlist in the Cyber Army will have a chance to win a prize pack such as a Dystopia deluxe VR bundle, Kiko Loureiro signature KIKOSP2 Ibanez guitar and a signed Dystopia poster and vinyl record.

The GRAND PRIZE winner, however, will not only get all of these treats but they will also have the opportunity to punch a member of Metallica of their choosing or have Sunday brunch with Metallica, Megadeth and the founders of Napster. [citation needed] To rack up those points to win this grand prize, be sure to snag a copy of Dystopia which is out now! Now go forth and kick some butt!