The Hatchet Job: March 1- March 6

March 1

How ‘Bout Some of Deez Nuts?

The hardcore punkers from down under are back with their latest music video for “Discord.” The Ugh Metal team has had the pleasure of seeing these energetic hooligans perform a few years back and will hit the spot for diehard metalhead. “Discord” will be featured in their April 7 album Binge & Purgatory and will be released via Century Media Records. Don’t wuss out and have a taste of Deez Nuts!   

March 2

Within the Ruins Find An ‘Objective Reality’

Within the Ruins have released their latest music video from their brand spankin’ new album Halfway Human (out as of now March 3) controversy free! The video is pretty straight forward and features these dudes jamming amidst a light show. Also expect a very special appearance towards the end.

March 3

Feel The ‘Hand of Hell’

Ex-Candlemass bassist/songwriter Leif Edling has been teasing the goods from his latest project The Doomsday Kingdom for some time and has delivered the lyric video for the melodically doomy “Hand of Hell.” The track, along with “A Spoonful of Darkness,” will be featured in the self titled debut album which will be released in April 7 through Nuclear Blast Records. In the meantime, soothe your craving with their 2016 debut EP Never Machine. 

March 4

Ghost Converts System of a Down

Okay, the real Ghost did not in fact cover System of a Down’s “Chop Suey!” but the popular YouTube channel Ten Second Songs brought this little experiment to life by popular demand. The talented Anthony Vincent channeled his inner Papa Emeritus and though it’s far from the heavy overload goodness S.O.A.D is known for, Papa… I mean Vincent’s vocals work their magick.

March 5

They’re All Out Of Love

Finnish love metallers H.I.M are finished after 26 years! I’ll allow the emo kid you stashed away deep inside you to come out and weep. “After quarter of a century of Love and Metal intertwined we sincerely feel HIM has run its unnatural course and adieus must be said in order to make way for sights, scents and sounds yet unexplored.” Said frontman/ baritone wonder Ville Valo in the bands Facebook page. “We completed the pattern, solved the puzzle and turned the key. Thank you.”

At the end of the overall statement, the band will add U.S and Finnish dates to their finale but so far check out if you’ll be one of the first stops that will get to strike up that last razorblade romance. You can snag your tickets on March 8.

They’ll be giving everyone a final “Razorblade Kiss”

March 6

Avatar Explores A ‘New Land’

The eccentrically awesome quintet takes us on a new and exciting odyssey in their latest video! Always expect the unexpected from Avatar and though I was personally excited because this is one of my favorite tracks off their latest album (Feathers & Flesh, if you haven’t listened to it, you’re missing out buddy! You think I’m exaggerating?!), I loved this video more ‘cause SPACE! And crazy SPACE TENTACLES! Take a look!

 

The Hatchet Job of November 6- 11

Nov.6

Not Even A ‘White Wine Spritzer’ Can Make Ned Flanders Chill

We are here reporting that Ned Flanders has had enough after finding his doppelgangers, left his old life behind in Springfield and created a sick metal band called Okilly Dokilly. But in this reality, they are a quintet from Arizona that classify themselves as a Nedal band making this universe a little fun. The Neds in (their first ever) music video for “White Wine Spritzer” are the definition of no chill and will kick you right in the kididdlehopper! Be a good neighborino and check out the video and purchase this fun album in the link below!

https://okillydokilly.bandcamp.com/album/howdilly-doodilly

Nov.7

Surgat Unlock Their Latest Single

The Tijuana deathgrinders released “Kill Him On You Own” on November1, Dia De Los Muertos how appropriate! Though we goofed and didn’t mention this track sooner (I blame the pan de muerto, sorry guys), it’s never too late to give this sucker a listen! The rawness and savagery of this track will make you wanna put this mother on repeat, especially if you’re still trying to burn those calories from all that pan de muerto you had.

https://surgat.bandcamp.com/releases

Nov.8

Nails Delivers The Soundtrack To 2016

The appropriately titled split Full of Hell has is now streaming and in Technicolor! Though the 3 track split isn’t due till December 3 through Closed Casket Activities Records, Nails are so hardcore they gave fans this super early gifts. If you tell me you didn’t crank this shit up and didn’t mosh with yourself, then you’re a liar!

Nov.9

IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING…

NEW SYSTEM OF A DOWN ALBUM IN 2017! Drummer John Dolmayan confirmed in an interview with Kerrang Magazine that the band is working on the new album and have written 15 songs. “I want everyone on board and feeling good about it, that’s what we’re trying to accomplish right now.” said Dolmayan. “There’s a tremendous amount of pressure on us, though, because it’s been 11 years – at least 12 by the time it comes out.” The drummer also expressed how they don’t want to make a “Toxicity Part II” and want to cater to the newer generation of S.O.A.D fans. Either way, we’re stoked!

I guess we can forgive their 12 year hiatus cuz who can say no to that face?!!! Well played Daron, well played.

 

Nov.10

Own Sepultura’s Latest Single…

After your pre-order their upcoming album through their official site or Nuclear Blast Records, silly! After you place your order you immediately get the single “I Am The Enemy.” It’s ANGRY and heavy and I’m lovin’ it so far. I’m sure Igor and Max love it too!…

Nov.11

Kreator Look Ready For War In Video Shoot

The renowned thrashers unveiled the brutal and artistic image from their music video shoot for “Gods Of Violence.” The band recently filmed the video and they didn’t get just any ol’ production team, no! A band of their status got the very best and had the acclaimed Polish production company, Grupa 13. Grupa 13 has filmed music videos for Behemoth and Amon Amarth and will helm Kreator’s upcoming video trilogy for the concept album. No word when part one of this visual saga will premiere and as of now, there’s six days left till you can preorder the album. Gods Of Violence will unleash sweet mayhem on January 27 via Nuclear Blast Records. Till then, bask in the image and all its bloody glory.

Behold! Kreator in this bloody display of art…and boob 😉 in their promo picture for their upcoming music video “Gods Of Violence”

The Hatchet Job of Oct. 17-21

Oct.17

Tool 3.0 (?) Have An Epic Showdown In New Video

TEE HEE! Sorry for bursting your bubble… not. But in the meantime, enjoy the new video for “The Arsonist” courtesy of Puscifer. In this video, Maynard James Keenan gets tired of our shit and our incessant whining about the Tool album that will never be and lets that aggression out. Ok, maybe things happen a little different in the video.

 

Oct. 18

Where’s Serj?

System Of A Down have been radio silent for 80 years, but hope was restored when they announced European dates for 2017 a bit back (Boo!). Basisst Shavo Odadjian and drummer John Dolmayan, however, posted a jam session including lead vocalist/guitarist Daron Malakian. Though not a Serj was in sight, rumor is the guys will pack their necessities and embark on an unforgettable journey and follow the yellow brick road. Till then, we’ll have to wait and see how the search party ends and what trick they have up their sleeves.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by sHaVo (@shavoodadjian)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by John Dolmayan (@johndolmayan_)

 

Oct.19

Overkill Invites Us To Their ‘Finest Hour’

The veteran thrashers released the lyric video for their latest single “Our Finest Hour” and it’s awesome! To say the least, this track will subdue your Overkill craving and distract you from counting down the days till their February release of their upcoming album.

 

Oct.20

The Sock Struggles Are Real With “More Humid Than Humid”

The adorable Sock Puppet Parody channel on YouTube made a Rob Zombie song in to an anthem for all the filthy socks out there with “More Humid Than Humid.” The strangest thing from this is having the words adorable and Rob Zombie together in one sentence. You’ll know what I mean when you check out the link ‘cause your salty ass can use it, and SOCK PUEPPETS ARE RAD.

 

Oct.21

 ‘Lords Of Chaos’ Will Be Burning A Church Near You? Soon… We Think.  

 The long awaited film about Norwegian Black Metal band Mayhem, titled “Lords of Chaos,” has gained momentum again. According to the entertainment site Deadline, Vice Films along with Insurgent Media, Chimney Pot and 20^th Century Fox have joined forces to help spawn Jonas Akerlund’s project. Akerlund, who is the former drummer of Bathory, has an impressive videography having directed numerous music videos for bands such as Rammstein, Ozzy Osbourne, Satyricon and big, shiny pop stars such as Beyonce and Madonna. The film will star Rory Culkin (Signs, Igby Goes Down), Emory Cohen (Brooklyn), Jack Kilmer (Val Kilmer’s son), Sky Ferreira (a shiny pop star). The film will be based on Varg Vikernes’ favorite 1998 novel with the same title. No word when the film will actually start production or if it’ll be worth the wait, but till then sit by the fire and bust out those marshmallows.

The critically acclaimed novel is also part of Vargs’ book club.

 

**BONUS ROUND**

Volunteer As Tributes For A Chance To Play At Wacken!

Metalsucks along with other metal sites and sponsors have teamed up to give up and coming bands an opportunity to play in next year’s Wacken Open Air Festival in Deutschland! The inaugural competition called Wacken Metal Battle USA, will hold qualifying rounds in Philadelphia, New York and Boston in. Don’t stress! Yet. The dates to these qualifying rounds are yet to be determined and will POSSIBLY announce more cities AND you must apply first. The rules are simple, don’t suck, have money, and fight to the death!!  Ok maybe it’s not that simple, you silly goose! Submissions for this brootal battle began on October 21 and will end on December 2 on 11:59 pm ET. So give it a shot and represent! GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!

https://ashermediarelations.com/2016/10/20/wacken-metal-battle-usa-launch-submissions-for-one-champion-to-play-at-wacken-open-air/

PUT YOUR GAME FACE ON! (Photo Courtesy of Asher Media Relations)